tinklysistax

2006-06-08T22:49:00.000+08:00

Because people have been asking why I'm closing this blog down, I guess I should say this once and for all. Haha, nope -- nothing earth-shattering happened. It's just a personal preference cos I do feel that a blog should serve its purpose for me to rant and say whatever I want to say. Yet, I've realized tht some stuff I say (stuff thts meant to be comprehended by myself and my closer friends), have been misunderstood by others. And I don't like that! /: But I'm not angry or anything, just alil perplexed. Haha, so yes - that's basically it.

I've got a private blog now! (: And my closer friends will know abt it.

Thank you all for your concern! Especially Elaine who's so far away in Australia and still talks to me every so often! I love you! (: And to the others, hurray to you! I love you guys too. Okay, enough. I'd be pouring out more of myself onto the other blog from now onwards. Maybe once in a while I will still pop by here to write alil. Haha, but no more riddles or vague nothings. And yes, no more misunderstandings.

Love, Vivian

2006-06-05T01:12:00.000+08:00

I think this blog has served me well and it's time to move on.

Goodbye, I'm closing this down.

2006-06-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

Omg, I'm super duper ultra tired! These few days have been so fulfilling and fun! (:

Saturday was SATS plus major shopping spree with mummy. And yes, I go shopping with her every Sat. Haha, unless thr's sth weird which suddenly pops up. Anyways, so SATS was erm, okay? I don't know. Let's not talk abt it. Haha, but the math was super easy. Okay enough, and shopping with yenping first before meeting mummy. We got loads of stuff which I ain't gonna elaborate on.

And todayyyyy! Met up with my dearest Charlotte, Huson & Gerrard. The only missing person was Suvien! Can't wait for tht girl to return from Aus! (: And it was so so so so so fun. I've never laughed so much in so so so long, seriously. Huson cracks us up till no end. And Gerrard is still as blur and slow as ever. And Char is still as sweet as ever of course! (: Makes me miss NXH alot alot. Esp. the jiemeis. Omg, I really really really wanna re-live orientation days where the amazing race took place, all tht eating at Thai express, stepping on the glass at esplanade and kinda getting scolded, playing with the crystal ball at the basement of esplanade, eating pizzas and stuff from carrefour, hanging out in the toilet for 12345678 hours, taking stupid pictures during the Tsunami cip thing. Ahh, I really really miss orientation days! And I'm really really glad to have gotten to know Char, Suv, Huson, Gerrard and Dan! (: Haha, they're such lovely ppl. God-sent, in fact.

I will upload unglam pictures of myself soon. Haha, with the other 3 unglam ppl of course (: And Huson took a million zillion pictures cos he didn't knw how to use my cam and he just kept pressing and pressing and pressing. Now I must delete all the repeats. Haha, very funny. And gerrard cannot take pictures for nuts. His aiming is super duper ultra bad! I will upload pictures and you can judge for yourself. But Char left early so cldn't take as many funny pics w her. So sad so sad ): Nvm, there's always a next time!

And Edmund Lim, I'm so happy for you! (: (: And you owe me one million meals cos you found courage from ME! Hahah. Okay, I'm kidding. Daphne better treat you nicely or else I will slap her. No, I will make you do tht while I hold pompoms to cheer you on. Hahah. Yay.

All the best for your exams tmr, love.

2006-06-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

I keep re-visiting Joan's blog, subconsciously without intending to do so. And I still feel sad when I hear the song thts played over again. Boo.

Anyways, tmr's the SATS day. My, I really only studied for 3 days. And I seriously think it's rather inadequate considering how people take a month, or at the very least 2 wks to study. How the hell am I going to apply to any US universities! Bummer! ):

Tmr's essay better be something decent. If the topic is totally retarded I'm going to freak out on the spot, especially with such little preparation. And if I manage to do okay, it's the Lord I really need to thank. Haha, and at least I've got the donkey and turtle story to keep me going! :D

Shopped alil today! (See what I mean by not studying?) Haha, and I got a nice white bag. Okay, shut up! I know, bags again, white again, too many too many. Buuut, it's real pretty! Maybe I'd carry it tmr since I've got quite alota stuff to bring. Yay.

I need to do well! And just like one SATS essay question states - obstacles is a form of motivation to spur you to greater heights. (: It better be true. Haha.

Gonna do some last min work now! (:

2006-05-29T01:58:00.000+08:00

RETAIL THERAPY WORKS WONDERS! (:

It's so fun shopping with mummy, for obvious reasons everyone shld know! Haha. Which is of course, bonding with mummy (what were you thinking of!) Teehee! :D And as a result, we spent close to 1k! /: It's crrrazy. But but, $500++ was spent on jewellery for herself and for Aunty Angela. So thr you go! And $100 (or arnd thr) was spent on food alone. The rest on clothes :D From F21, Iora and yada yada. Plus, thr was the necessary lingerie ohkay! Haha. Too much information disclosed. /: Ha.

So, high tea and dinner at Royal Copenhagen was really not bad! (: The ham was good, and so was the grilled chicken. But didn't quite fancy the fruit cake with vanilla icecream. I really do think street icecream is good y'noe. Lol, mummy and I couldn't resist wafer icecreams as we walked down Orchard road today. Yup, despite our hands filled with tons of shopping bags! Haha. Yumyum! (:

Ohh, I saw these GORGEOUS pair of heels from Aldo (if I didn't remember wrongly). They're like these gorgeous 3" heels in rich RED. Ohmy! I totally fell in love with them. And guess how much they cost? Haha, $250++ if I didn't recall wrongly. So being the thrifty lil girl that I am, I resisted to temptation! And not only that okay! I resisted 2 other temptations when I was in Mango! Saw this pretty stripey black and white top which costs $55. And even mummy was abt to get it for me cos the cutting and all were really yummy! Buuut, once again, being such an angel, I said it's okay! And alright I think I've made my point and I shan't elaborate further.

This also means that my other buys were well worth the money since I'm so good at deciphering good buys and bad buys. Hurhur!

I can't wait for Nine West sales and Mango sales and Enzo Angiolini sales and MAC sales and yada yada. But everything's gonna be so chaotic, just like how ppl in Zara and Guess went mad throwing clothes all over the place, whilst leaving the NETT items alone. How realistic and 'kiasu'. Couldn't stand the sight a single bit so we left both shops shortly after stepping in. Okay, sales are good. But but, I want nice sales where everyone still remains civilised. Haha, so impossible!

Did I mention abt my new pair of Levis? :D Lovee.

I'm so tired yet I don't know why I'm still lingering around typing such nonsense. Ohgosh! SATS is on Sat and I've yet to study! Damnit! Someone should really shoot me.

2006-05-26T12:32:00.000+08:00

Joan passed away! ): But God has been gracious - He allowed her to spread so much love before her death, and she's definitely someone whom many wld remember for the rest of their lives. An inspiration to all. (:

Didn't go to school today cos I'm running a slight fever. Yes, this time it's really a fever. I think it must be the flu bug that has been transmitted to me (and everybody). Haha, but I'd be going to school later to meet Sharon. Yes I'm so hardcore I'm gonna be collecting my Biology hw from her.

Jeans frm yiling totally didn't fit cos they drop off me. ): It's such a pretty pair. I'm upsetttt. Haha. I hope hope hope someone trades it with me soon! :D

2006-05-25T00:35:00.000+08:00

First and foremost,

RYAN CHENG!
You haven't replied the long overdue email alrights! Lol, please do not attempt to break the 2-month record which you gloriously held last year. Nooo! Haha, reply me! (:

And today was gp paper. Compre is horrifying. Essay was...so-so? I don't knw. It's the first-ever attempt to write a FULL essay on war, politics, govt. And stupid me mentioned tht LKY is senior minister. WHAT WAS I THINKING!? I have no idea. Somehow the two words - minister mentor - did not hit me thr and thn. And Goh Chok Tong, I can't believe I didn't say he's the senior minister. I was living in the past when I wrote my essay out I swear. But nevermind, all's well since it's finally OVER! :D

Really tired. I've been sleeping late everynight. This is bad.

Alvin tried to give me a wake-up call earlier on. Buuut, I'm sorry it's just not working the way it shld be - and the way you hoped it'd be. /: But I'd try, okay? I will (: Promise!

I HEART RETAIL THERAPY!

2006-05-21T15:10:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE! (:

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE WAS A HUUUGE SUCCESS! YAAAY!

2006-05-20T12:48:00.000+08:00

Okay, in response to Vicki darling's request, I shall blog abt our cheese party! Haha. And and, our cheapo lunch experience.

So yesterday, being the hungry people we are, Philip rushed down to the amphi to grab a plate of chocolate cake, Chings and Sharon followed by stuffing their mouths with wantons and sandwiches! Haha, it was hilarious. Oh btw, the food was frm the buffet catered for council investiture. Lol. So after Econs, the group of us decided to save some money & eat the leftovers frm the buffet. HAHAH. It sounds so ridiculous! But we did! :D So much for calling us spendthrifts! Haha, we're actually reaaaally thrifty. Each of us ate a quarter of a plate of fried noodles and were so full tht we only had to spend another 50 cents of cheng tng! HAHAH. Okay, so embarrassing!

After which was bio! (Loh Chor Meng decided to take over Math since Ms Lim was on course) So yes, we had a cheese party, which could possibly have evolved into a cheese fondue party if we had some pots and bunsen burner. LOL. There was feta cheese, blue cheese, cheddar cheese, brie and 2 or 3 other which I can't exactly remember. Ohwell, it was quite a fun cheese-tasting session. Just that blue cheese is absolutely DISGUSTING. It tasted like vomit, I swear. And weirdo Vicki Lai, Selene & Marilyn thought it was de-li-cious. Eew. SICKK! Haha, the smell just puts me off - totally.

I think feta cheese is yummy! (: And much thanks to Sinyan's grp - we had ZOOLAND biscuits to eat (: Was awesome cos they masked the disgusting taste of blue cheese. Lol. I still find it revolting, eew. Vicki, you're WEIRD. Haha, how can you like it. Omg.

Mummy's so kiasu. Her appointment w/ Ms Ang is at 1.30pm today. And she reached my school at 1245. HAHAH. Happy waiting :DD

PLEASE LOH CHOR MENG, DON'T BITCH ABT ME OR ELSE I'D HATE YOU AL MY LIFE. RAH.

2006-05-18T23:31:00.000+08:00

Yes, I agree with Charlotte that this morning's assembly was so drama! Buuut, I can see why. Thought that wht Steven said was quite sweet (: I mean, it's not often you hear a guy saying such stuff I guess - and to the entire school! Ruggers have done well, they really have. Although I wasn't there to feel the intensity of the moment and see for myself the fight of the rafflesians, I know they've done well. I'm proud of them, I'm proud of THE rafflesians (:

As for Hockey, I think I feel for the girls more than I feel for rugby. After all, I did see for myself how hard Sharon and Chings have trained for it, and I really want them to do well. Sa again. Grr. I really have no idea how they've managed to improve so much after 17yrs. I guess they must've worked hard, and we have too. If I were in SA I'd prob be extremely happy for the players, buuut now I can't help but feel a tad of dislike for tht school ): Sharon and Chings, cheer up okayys! (: Like I said, your hard works ARE recognized, you guys have done your best! And I really am very proud of you guys!

I promise to go for Tuesday's match and see you guys clinch the bronze medal! And shout and scream for joy until my voice runs out (: Dance like an idiot, but I won't care cos I'd be super happy for you guys. Y'all will get 3rd definitely! YAY.

My toe nail just dropped off. Much thanks to my new pumps. Haha!

2006-05-17T13:01:00.000+08:00

Woke up with a terrible headache, all thanks to the irritating brother and his friend playing warcraft/counter-strike the entire night. And fyi, the study is just beside my room, so the blasting of the speakers is loud enough to kill. I have no idea how many times I told them to tone down (yes, I was being polite cos his friend seems to be super scared of me, hurhur!) BUUUT, boys being boys, they were shouting like retards. So heaven knows what time I managed to actually fall asleep with Chowder sitting on the top of my head (my attempt to block out some of the noise).

Am going to get my Chloe Paddington in black later. I sure hope it's pretty! And surprise surprise, I finished my Bio tutorials (: (: (: Yes, Anqi and I are full of green! Lol. Buuut, thr's still Chem stuff to complete later today. Plus, Econs to read thru and SATS to study. School's sucha chore.

I miss having some love. I need to fall in love with school again, fall in love with Bio, Chem, Econs & Math again. Then maybe, I'd score straight As soon. HAHAH. Okay, I'm kidding myself. Bear with me! (: It's just a sweet lil nonsensical dream.

Will be RICH soon! :D After I sell my pink woven tote & elmo ringer tee! (: And yay to the 2 buyers who confirmed the two items with me already! LOVEE. I'd be rich on Friday! BUUUT I just got a hollister denim jacket. SHOOT ME.

2006-05-13T02:28:00.000+08:00

It's so funny! I didn't know SO many ppl read colin & kero's blog for pure entertainment's sake. But it's really hilarious, and painfully dumb. Lol, maybe that's why ppl read - to destress. And I agree with Jing! :D Colin's English is actually not tht bad, but when he types on tht blog it comes up like crap. Haha, is that the "personal touch" that those two gays are trying to add to their blog? Haha, to advocate the gay movement!

Today was tragically stale. As usual, the annual mothers' day lunch with the extended family. Thankfully for my cousins, or else I'd be bored stiff (just like how Ryan & I were in the States). Food was okay, not ravishing though. But again, I'm not that much of a seafood person so I probably don't know what's good seafood and what's not. /:

Slept my entire day away, woke up to tv, pizzas, more wardrobe clearance & Jing standing at my doorstep (she needed to borrow sweaters & jeans). Today was terribly spent. Rah.

I realized that since I'd be going down to NUH every Thurs, thr'd be a possibility of bumping into Youjiang. Haha, just that the oh-so-blur me prob won't even recognize him. Just like how I didn't even notice him until he called out for me in school (during Chingay!). I need to take memory enhancement pills.

ANYWAY, ALL THE BEST CANOEISTS FOR SUNDAY'S COMPETITION! (: ESP. AIWERN, SELENE & SIKHS! WILL BE PRAYING ESPECIALLY HARD FOR YOU GIRLS! :DD

2006-05-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

I really adore holidays! (: And as much as I wish time would just fly so that June will reach soon, the thought of having to mug for CTs 2 just makes the entire holiday idea so meaningless! /: I agree with Michelle - JC life should be spread out over 3 years instead of 2!! :D In that way, we won't find ourselves worrying over pop-quizzes, tests and exams. Rahh.

My trip to NUH was...painful. Haha, cos I was so vain! Couldn't wait till tmr to try on my new pair of pumps, so I er, wore it to NUH despite expecting how much walking I'd hafta do. And yes, it really is a lesson learnt. Actually, I just can't resist wearing pretty footwear! Haha, I remember the last time I went to Changi Hospital for my attachment, I was wearing pumps too. Came back with blisters all over. The back of my feet is always being scraped cos I constantly forget to get the paddings from Scholl. Yes, what an idiot! Haha.

Online shopping's so addictive! It's zapping all my money away. And I'm truly, officially, definitely, very broke! I think it's cheap thrill, but I actually look forward to opening my mailbox everytime I purchase something online. Haha, I know I know. Such a girl, but I can't help it! /:

Read Joan Chan's blog. Not surprisingly, she's decided to be with the Lord finally - after this long, gruelling battle. I'm so proud of her - as a fellow rafflesian & a sister in Christ. She's done us proud (: And we ought to feel ashamed if we're not treasuring life the way we should be. (Actually I'm guilty of that!) I'm sure the Lord is pleased with her too.

OKAY! MOTHERS' DAY'S COMING UP! AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A PRESENT FOR MY MUM. (Give me suggestions on something economical!) /:

2006-05-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

I don't know if you still read my blog, but that's totally irrelevant.

ANYWAYS, it was stay-at-home day. Not to mug, but to bring my 2 babies for their grooming/nail trimming/dog food grocery etc. Besides, I wasn't feeling that well in the morning cos my headache came back. I reckon it's due to the lack of sleep. But I'm not too sure abt that either. Hate morning headaches, just make me feel like plonking back down to bed.

Well oh well, the idea which mummy suggested got me so ecstatic. I was literally smiling like a retard. And yes, we (our entire family) might be emigrating to the States afterall! (: It won't be that soon cos I'd still have to complete my A levels by hook or by crook. But I'm glad that the option is still viable, really glad! (:

So 4 years ago, we couldn't make it to Australia because the stupid agent screwed up our application forms. And I really do hope daddy will agree to the US emigration idea. This time round, no agent's gonna screw it up. If not he'd be my dinner. HAHAH.

Okay, I should stop daydreaming! (:

2006-05-08T00:09:00.000+08:00

My new maid has arrived, finally. Marieso's her name, and she's pretty diligent. But again, all new maids are. They'd try to please you in every way possible, and she re-packed my room (after I painstakingly packed it a few days ago). Haha, but admittedly, it's much neater now! (: I'm really happy with it! Haha! I feel more like a girl now.

***

Sometimes, things & people just get to me. I don't know why.

I was trying to think of someone perfect, yes both male & female. So of course, the very first few who popped into my mind were my family members (who're essentially daddy, mummy, Summer & Maxine). Second to come were my friends, my closest ones. Third - just some random people.

Yet out of the lot, I couldn't think of anyone perfect. Ironically, I used to think that some of them were perfect, before getting to know them better.

So perfection is perhaps obscure. You see it from afar. (:

That might be the beauty of it afterall!

***

I feel so random! (: And Amarante has come to an end. Next in line would be Rapture. But I doubt I'd be going down to watch. (Sorry Melia!)

***

Goodnight.

2006-05-06T22:40:00.000+08:00

My brother is such a loser! :D He threatened to get his friends to beat me up just because I told him to clear the rubbish which he's shrewn all over the place in our family area. Omg. He's such a LOSER! (: I actually found in hilarious when he spouted that out, and laughed! Of course, that agitated him further. But, isn't it funny. He's only 13+ and he can say such stuff? HAHA. I was tickled, for some weird reason. And try me, if he dares to! (: Teehee.

Anyhow! I hope B2 cheers up (: Talk to me if you need to! Yes, even at 3a.m. when everyone else is fast alseep. Yes, even when I am busy doing something else. Yes, even when I'm in the middle of my favourite television show. (: Doesn't it show just how impt you are to me? Haha! :D Yes, you matter!

Okay, I'm tired. I wanna have some comfort foods.

2006-05-04T23:08:00.000+08:00

I think I should start using big words from the SATS book to blog, so I'd familiarize with the vocabulary in no time! Haha. And I'm too adventurous. I'm only giving myself till the end of this week to be done with all the vocabulary. It's possible okay! (: With determination. (And less lazing around)

So, there's nothing much to blog about since school's been just the same. I'm getting real tired everyday though, and I've got no idea why! /: Just realized that Amarante is tmr! And Bio SPA's tmr as well. I don't know if I should go home to take a shower before going or just go straight from school! Probably going home first though (if mummy can fetch that is). I need new clothes!

Summer and Maxine was SO naughty! I forgot to close the toilet door (in the kitchen) and those two brats started playing with the toilet roll! Omg. I got such a shock when I saw shredded toilet paper all over the kitchen floor. It was a disgusting sight. And I've picked up shredded paper all day long cos Summer has this fettish for destroying all paper products. But, I still love them both! <3

I'd go play with my babies for a while before sleeping! Goodnight.

2006-05-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

I swear Zhongmin & Meiyu would make such a great team in conversational massacre. Haha, okay not that bad. BUT! They make me feel so lazy by telling me the million and one non-existent homeworks! Rah! I will eat them up one day. Haha.

Chem remedial's so boring. I'm boycotting it from today onwards. :D

Bertrand Russell is SO weird. He's got weird thinkings, ohwell, at least a unique individual he really is. And I'm not being random again, haha, it's just that I've just completed my gp ppt stuff on him. He's really got too many publications for his own good. /:

Thank you, Derrick for helping Charlotte and I collect our birks from Eve today! (: Very very much appreciated! I'd go over to Ngee Ann to get it from you tomorrow or something! :D Thank you!

I feel so random and sleepy. I need sleep. I think studying for SATS is no fun.

Someone should fund my retail therapy too! HA!

2006-05-01T17:30:00.000+08:00

I am really really glad I had such a long talk with Elaine darling today. And it's cool to know someone who's studying in University of Adelaide, so at least I know how things are like over there. Plus, there's SUPRE! Omg, it's gonna be one of my favourite shops.

So, thank you Elaine dear, I really hope that I'd be able to make it there. (: And if my dad says okay of course. Haha, you got me so excited. Ohman! I wanna go shopping with you! :D

I LOVE YOU, ELAINEEE. <3

Teehee. And I got my belt & dress today. I'm happy happy happy.

Are you? (:

2006-05-01T02:20:00.000+08:00

It's heartwrenching to read Joan's blog. And see it filled with comments of encouragement, prayers and motivation. I hope she gets well soon. I pray that the Lord will not take her home in the near future. Ohwell.

Anyway, i got my Philips 10-in-1 hair styler today! (: Sadly, the straightener doesn't seem to be working for my natural curls which really is a bad thing given that I'm desperate to straighten the frizzy ends /: I'd keep trying. Haha, it might be the way I'm positioning the straightener such that it isn't able to clasp my hair the right way. At least that's what I'm hoping, or else I'd have wasted all my money! Boohoo.

Haven't done ANYTHING this entire weekend. I ought to be shot.

Bang.

2006-04-30T22:15:00.000+08:00

Happy

Birthday,

Ryan!

2006-04-29T11:25:00.000+08:00

Because you think a message itself would solve everything that has been accumulating all these months, all these years? I'm sorry, it won't. I've always been giving in to you, and simply saying, yes it'd get better. I'd try to understand him more. Try to be more compromising. But mind you, this time he's crossed the line. His violent tendencies, the vulgarities he spit out so carelessly. Am I to tolerate all these, and at the end of the day, tell him "Oh, it's okay. I'm sure you'd change in time to come." Com'on, all of us know he won't. So let's stop kidding ourselves alright? There's no use letting history repeat time and again. Even if you're not sick and tired of it all, I am.

Hate me all you want, scream and cry at me to fill your heart's desire. I won't compromise anymore. I feel that I've already been very tolerating. Waking him up, only to get him shouting back at me. Telling him to study, only to get him chasing me out of the room. Helping him install the windows office into the computer just because he's such a dimwit. And what? Just letting him hit me again? Gosh, why don't you kill me instead?

It's not your fault that things have become so stale. But stop forcing me to do things that's just against my own conscience. He can do whatever he wants, it's his problem. You haven't been down controlling him in any way. That, I'd respect your decision. I don't agree with his doings, and I never will. The only reason I'm not gonna rebuke is because I still've got my manners and basic courtesy. I won't shout at you like he does, because it's rude. Not because I think you're right. I always keep mum because I know you're upset too, and I don't want to anger you further.

And now, I've reached my limit. I'm sorry.

2006-04-28T15:49:00.000+08:00

I absolutely hate people who have violent tendencies, my brother included. Honestly, if he dares to lay a finger on me once again, I wouldn't have ANY qualms about calling the police. He's so rude, it's unbelievable. Thank goodness I'm not like him in any way. And better than him in every way. Thank God.

I do not want to give Summer away. ): Sadly, I've got no say in this household. Maybe I'd bring her over to the States with me next year. Of course, Maxine will definitely have to come with us. Can't leave any of them behind. /: Amanda can't take Summer in anymore, cos she's got 2 male dogs of her own. Parents don't approve of having a 3rd dog, especially since it's a female. Would be tough work, definitely. So I guess I'd hafta find another temporary owner of Summer. I still want her, so I'm only leaving her at whoever's place TEMPORARILY. She's still mine! (:

Never mind, I'd take things as they come. If she doesn't want me home tonight, I'd leave with both of my dogs. (:

2006-04-27T17:46:00.000+08:00

Just read Joan Chan's blog once again.
Not surprisingly, am saddened for the millionth time already.
Please pray for her, really. Cos I believe that the Lord can perform miracles and He will fight this battle till the very end. (:

Anyhow, Yuqin brought me to mediacorp yesterday (haven't been there in such a long time!) And hurray, we watched Singapore Idol. I know it's nothing too great or anything, but the 7 guys were seriously not bad (: Esp. Paul Twohill and Jonathan. Those two were the more outstanding ones. But since we were there to support Terrence Tay, everyone please vote for him (: He's got a pretty good voice, good looks and full of smiles! Vote for him! Haha.

Oh yes, we bumped into Steph there! (: She was supposed to go for fitting since that talented girl's gonna be dancing for Stef Sun and Guo Meimei. You go girl! (: I can't wait to see you on tv or something! (: Teehee.

Back to Singapore Idol... Gurmit Singh and Daniel Ong are seriously hilarious. I don't know why nobody seems to laugh at Gurmit's 'kanasai' joke when I re-tell it. I think it's just the way I re-enact the whole thing. Haha! But HONESTLY, the joke was funny! Especially when he says it with that animated look & voice. Gosh! It cracked the audience up to no ends! :D

Okays, technically, I'm supposed to be studying for my Econs lecture test (which is tmr!) BUT I really don't feel like studying.

And I'm pretty happy cos both my birks and aeropostale sprees have arrived! YAY!

From next week onwards, I will stop spending so much (: REALLY.

2006-04-26T15:48:00.000+08:00

i am so impossible.

slept at an unbelievable 6pm,
and woke up at an even more unbelievable 7am.

this is such a nightmare!
i'm sleeping so much, yet still feeling tired.

there's this urge for me to head to bed right now,
but thr's still chem R incomplete, polymers tutorial, econs mcq, sats to study for, econs test on fri to study for, math p&c to complete.. AHH. it's driving me nuts.

i need to stop sleeping i need to study i need to ... i actually really need more sleep. hahah.

goodnight.

2006-04-23T19:03:00.000+08:00

Because the Lord has promised;
Ask and ye shall receive.

Please pray for her
This ex-rgs, ex-rjc girl,
One with such a promising future.
One who's a mere 2yrs older than I am.

She really doesn't deserve such pain, such agony,
Her journey should not end just yet.

Dear Lord,

I pray that you will be with her as she battles the cancer cells that is spreading ever so quickly. I pray that you will give her courage that's beyond her years. Please Lord, stay by her and give her the strength that she needs so desperately. God, I pray that you will help her stay positive and even at the toughest moments, still rely entirely on you. Lord, I pray that she will get well soon, it is her wish to evangelise and do greater things to glorify you, Lord. Be with her, oh God, be with her. because we know that through you, all things are possible. and at this point of time, all of her friends, her family and her fellow siblings in Christ have fully comprehended the meaning of walking by faith and not by sight. So Lord, I pray that she will stand tall - once again.
Amen.

2006-04-22T01:11:00.000+08:00

i wonder how long it's been since i last talked to any of my church friends (sam, excluded!) hahah.

and yes, charissa happened to be one of the sellers who emailed me. it was too coincidental! but it's nice talking to her.

VICKI, this entry is actually supposed to be wholly dedicated to you. but charissa came into the picture halfway. lol. nevertheless, i must make a stand.

vicki, you're...
1) NOT FAT (it's muscles, for goodness sake)
2) always unglam (but it's human nature)
3) allowed to be angry at your insensitive daddy (he was so mean!)
4) awarded with free massage after training sessions (only 5!!)
5) a grrrrrrreat daddy!

i lovee you, honey <3 so don't let your daddy put you down. cos you know you're pretty & attractive no matter wht he says!

(:

2006-04-21T18:58:00.000+08:00

i feel silly smiling to myself over such little nothings (:

but it's good to smile.

(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:

i'm starting to reaaaally LOVE playing bridge!
especially with my everdearest aiwern! <3 as well as ngiap, zhongmin & jinyong! let's form so3t's bridge club.
no more nine of clubs rubbish! i hate nine of clubs /: HAHAH.

***

i apologised,
unbelievable? /:
and until now, i still don't know if i actually regret saying sorry.
ohwell (: at least i've said it.
not expecting anything outta this though,
afterall it's been so long since everything has ended. (:

2006-04-20T17:34:00.000+08:00

bushed.

my body seems to be aching, although i really have no idea why. but okay, tht's so random!

ms ang says tht typing on blogs will cause students to have this tendency to write in an informal manner during exams. so, i'm gonna try typing with style even when blogging. HAHA. okay, i'm kidding (: it'd be so tiring.

so, ive done another 4hrs of cip at the school for the visually handicapped (a total of 8hrs these 2 wks! hurray!) and i feel pretty good exp tht i don't exactly see how it'd benefit or help ppl? ohwell, since it's called cip, thr must be some basis behind it (:

and, i've done my tutorials (all exp econs!) i'm considering whether or not i shd drop the subj actually. shall pray abt it.

econs is the end of me. rahh.

on hind sight, microeconomics ain't too bad actually.

ohyes, i really don't like 3 ppl in my cls. aiwern and i had a unanimous decision to shoot all 3 of them dead. actually i'd just shoot 2. i can't be so cruel. HAHAH (:

but really, you guys shd just shut the crap up cos your antics are so bloody irritating it's BEYOND WORDS. ohman.

_ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ -> aiwern's hangman :D i think it applies to the BOTH of them! teehee (:

did i mention tht i love huiqing? yeah, she got dance night tix for me. i love you baybeh!

2006-04-17T01:00:00.000+08:00

because things happen for a reason.

and yuqin,
i want a smile that will last for seasons (:

love you, sweetheart! <3

***

so for the 2nd night in a row, i've been given wake-up calls -
to reality, to God.

maybe i won't be so bothered by these worldly influences if i were walking in the right path.

or if i had continued walking in the right path.

***

i spent last night thinking abt how things are on your side,
and i'm pretty sure they're going oh-so-fine.

they must be,
i want them to be.

yes melia, it's the last time i'm ever raising this up (again)
whoops! /:

***

because i'm not a huge fan of changes,
which is precisely why i should be more withdrawn to begin with,
perhaps just a tad more indifferent-
and changes wouldn't matter tht much anymore.

i miss wht i've lost.

***

and ryan, i'm glad you had fun in new york! i await more pictures! :D
will reply your email alil later, alright.
meanwhile, if you happen to read this entry,
do take loads of care (:
and let aunty angela & uncle tony know tht they're both looking rather awesome (:

love much <3

2006-04-16T13:01:00.000+08:00

In no particular order, list down : three people you talk to online
four people you see at school
three people you love going out with
&three people in your sms inbox.

1) yuqin
2) derrick
3) sharon
4) vicki
5) aiwern
6) selene
7) mel
8) suefaye
9) ngiap
10) jinyong
11) my math tutor
12) my chem tutor
13) daddy

here we go;

So what do you think of number 4?
EGOISTIC !! and a fantabulous judo-ker.

How would you feel if number 4 slapped you on your face?
i'd prob think she's in another one of her crazy-high moments (:

How nice is number 6?
real nice !

On the scale of 1-10, rate how good looking number 5 is.
HOW TO RATE. omg.

Will you ever fall for number 11?
NO WAY! yuck.

Honestly, if number 8 met with an accident, what would you do?
visit her everyday! bring loads of foods for her, and pray lots. i loveee suefaye!

What sport would you play with number 12?
eeks, how wld i know!

What if number 1 got a boyfriend?
HAHAHAH (: then i'd try to forgive her for not spending as much time w me! teehee. but i'd be real happy for yuqin!

Do you hate number 9?
of course not! he's the girl-guy of 3t. haha!

How much do you like number 2?
he's pretty cool.

Will 13 and 7 make a good couple?
OF COURSE NOT!! ohman /:

Would 14 kill you one day?
There isnt a 14, so NO! :D

Who do you like more? 3 or 10?
3. haha, thts pretty obvious isnt it.

Get five people to do this thing.
you you you you you!

(rah, whoever's as bored as i)

2006-04-16T00:03:00.000+08:00

you didn't fall short of my expectations;
cos i didn't carry any hopes in the first place.
and,
i'd take that for an answer.

well,
i'm sorry for the things i said,
but i love you anyway.

***

today's been a typical saturday.
chem tuition,
followed by loads of tv-ing.

***

we won't ever be as close as we were before,
and i'm not sorry because i don't think it's my fault.
you can give yourself a million reasons/excuses,
but honestly i don't really care.

***

and to those who's been asking me abt the prev entry,
i'd rather the person tag so everyone will know wht a loser he is.
save me from all the explanation, alright?
i'm glad so many of my friends share the same sentiments as i do,
and we all had a good laugh over it, didn't we (:

***

good night, love.

2006-04-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA.

HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO BORED.

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE BURYING YOUR HEAD IN BOOKS OR FLIRTING WITH THE 1234567890 GIRLS? (:

OHMYGOSH!

MAYBE YOU SHD GET A LIFE, BUGGER!

WHAT AN IDIOT :DD

and if you don't know tht i'm referring to YOU, you really ought to give your grades to someone more worthy of them.

HAHAHAH.

the thought of this never fails to amuse me.

i must re-iterate,
YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER.

:D

2006-04-14T17:25:00.000+08:00

i like the feeling of having made up my mind :) :) :) except tht i'm perpetually indecisive. so i gotta just try hard to remain focused on the decisions i make and stick to them!

sometimes, i fuss over the most minor stuff.
and sometimes, i just turn my back on the most major stuff.
it's just a matter of setting my priorities right :)

so i've decided to:
1) stop talking on the phone (!!)
2) do my tutorials promptly
3) pack my room when i have the time to (maybe in june. teehee!)
4) try to live without my hp/computer/tv :)
5) try to keep to these simple decisions

oh yay!

2006-04-13T22:53:00.000+08:00

i think pw results are unjustifiable. everyone but tht idiot shd have gotten an A1. but i can't really be bothered anymore. i shall stay satisfied with my A2. afterall, almost 70% of the cohorde got tht grade too. so i guess i shdn't be feeling too irritated, eh? (: and whtever it is, i'm glad to have sharon, meiyu and woo in my grp. they were rather awesome grp members.

AND i've come to a conclusion tht we just didn't get A1 cos our idea was crappy. the idea wasn't exactly OURS, but yes, the idea was just so dry and boring. we've contributed our fair share. i thank God tht i'm still in the A band. and not a B. (:

got home and i just fell asleep on the couch. guess wht. i got woken up by the irritating ringing of my hse phone. and i really didn't want to get up, but the phone rang cos of the doorbell. SO all grouchy and sleepy i opened the door and silly mel was standing at my gate! ohman /: tht girl FORGOT, to bring her phone out. so she cldn't contact me abt the youth challenge stuff. and happily, she came over to discuss w me. haha, but it's nice seeing her (: and talking to her (:

and mel sweets! you really ought to make a trip down to asiamedic soon, eh? /: AND you've got beautiful braces color, as chosen by *arhem, yours truly :D

sidetracking, i'm sick of eating breads and stuff. i want proper meals! damnit! maybe not having a maid is really a terrible thing. rahhh!

and i realised tht, i'm most horrible to my closest ones. ironic, yes. but but! okay, thr really isn't any explanation for this.

OHWELL. goodnight.

2006-04-12T20:54:00.000+08:00

perhaps it was history tht moulded her into becoming such a fearful, insecure girl.

and once again, she's decided to take the passive seat,

so prevent herself from falling too hard.

***

head's throbbing, again ):

2006-04-10T22:36:00.000+08:00

productive day!

the lazy one finally decided to take the first step in conquering chemistry. not too successful, but a feat nonetheless. she's happy to have completed 15 structured questions, albeit blanks here and thr. most were answered pretty confidently (:

perhaps it's the weather, perhaps it's the annoying germs frm her two sweethearts - complexion has worsened, and it's calling out for some masques and face peel.

the girl has decided to stop shopping so incessantly! she'd try as hard as possible, i'm sure (:

time to paint her skies with little sparkling stars.

goodnight.

2006-04-09T23:53:00.000+08:00

i've watched tuesdays with morrie for the very third time.

and for the very third time, i've been touched to tears.

it's such an inspirational show! to think tht the entire show was based on a true story, a real-life one. i guess in reality, or history i'd say, the characters in the show might not have been so knowledgeable and stuff. but i'm sure they're a bunch of sweet, lovely and kind people, who's definitely touched the lives and hearts of many. (:

and it's true how we're often afraid to talk abt death, love, illnesses and all tht. i'm a guilty for tht matter.
i cannot imagine my parents dying, or maxine dying or anyone close to me dying. it's a scary thought tht wld have to be entertained as time passes by.
i do not have the guts to profess my love quite many a time. and maybe i shd find the courage to do so, cos love is beautiful. isn't it?

okay! i shan't attempt to be philosophical in any way now. but the show has really induced qte a number of thoughts (: and everyone ought to read the book! i feel tht it's tons better actually (: and tears are just a form of expression. one tht belongs to both male and female alike!

2006-04-09T20:22:00.000+08:00

IM A HAPPY GIRL,

AND TODAY'S A HAPPY DAY!

I LOVE YOU, MEL. I DO, I DO (:

I LOVE YOUUUUU <33

2006-04-08T12:50:00.000+08:00

okay! deleted the entire entry because:

1) summer's getting all better
2) i shdn't get upset over silly stuff which are related to sch and the ppl in sch and whtever not

so yes. i shan't brood over it any further. because _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ tht i have no idea wht to say. yes, _ _ _ _ _ _!

charlotte tang! why did you go offline so soon. i've yet to talk to you much, love. catch up with you reaaal soon i promise (: i miss you loads, hun!

mel tan! is your headache getting better. i really really know how you feel when you said you threw up cos of the stupid migraine. get well soon okay (: i will be your panadol provider!

derrick heng! i hate you, why do you have such a beautiful computer. WHY?! but my bro's computer's nicer than yours! teehee :D

liew yuqin! i'm so glad we've been hanging out so much lately (: and i thank you for always being thr. i love youuuu (: and ive got loads to update you abt! it's been 2 days since i last saw you. haha. i sound love-sick.

okays, thts all. today has been rather unproductive. but i don't care!

today really _ _ _ _ _ _ and i _ _ _ _ _ _ _ stupid _ _ _ _ _!

2006-04-07T13:44:00.000+08:00

i think i've become the alica no. two, i.e. the maid of the house.

mummy has ordered me to clean the kitchen floor and i'm so so tired /:

so yes, here's my plan of the day:

1) shower summer
2) feed summer
2) shower maxine (i can't shower them BOTH simultaneously cos...they just can't get along)
3) dry them both together (i'd try my best! AHH)
4) change the soiled newspprs
5) clean up after the mess OUTSIDE of the newspprs
6) wet-wipe the dirtied areas
7) mop the kitchen floor
8) shower
~~9) meet mel for youth challenge~~
10) sleep

:D what an eventful day. somehow, i think i shd insert "revision" somewhere too.

yes, i actually managed to complete all but one of the above :D it's a pretty great feat for myself actually. and i'm pleased (:

2006-04-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

my goodness! i just mopped the ENTIRE kitchen floor. and you guys know just how huge my kitchen is, seriously. and and and, i mopped the ENITRE floor. i can't believe myself. and it's all summer's fault! she made a mess with her ... poo and pee. so sick /: and the entire kitchen was super super stinky. so yes. i cleaned it. BY HAND okay, cos i couldn't find the mop.

i really shd be a housewife. omg.

okay, i'm tired and smelly.

2006-04-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

insomnia's a bitch. it's about time i made an appointment with dr. lopez to get my sleeping pills and mc.

anyhow, bio was a shitload of crap. i can never ever do well for bio. and somehow, i've become immune to all tht anxiety. and perhaps, used to the fact tht rj has an abundance of intelligent people.

i hate being the odd one out. i hate hate hate being the odd one out.

thank God for yuqin who accompanied me to hollywood secrets to get my hair done. and yes, i have to compliment joe for being a fantastic hairdresser. he's such a good stylist, i swear. just tht i can never blow dry my hair the exact same way he did it. whtever it is, i'm pretty happy with how it's turned out.

got myself a blazer from fareast. yuqin says it's nice too.

dinner at pasta mania with alicia and family. and window-shopped at fareast after tht. i realised i really can't stand shopping with mummy now. stressful! don't ask me why.

and daddy was really sweet. he kept telling me to take my time despite being so tired. i love him.

ahh, today sucks. i feel like i'm typing a monologue.

demmit.

2006-04-03T21:10:00.000+08:00

i never liked goodbyes ): especially goodbyes to close ones.

alicia is going home on wed to get married. and i'm reaaaaally sad ): she's been more than just a capable helper in our hse, she's been a friend to every one of us /: she knows my habits inside out, and my mum's, my dad's & my bro's. what am i gonna do without her, really. i cannot cannot cannot imagine life w/o her now ): who am i gonna go to when my buttons fall out, when i feel like drinking barley water, when i feel like eating salmon burger, when i feel like talking to somebody, when i need to ask about my outfit... the list goes on. i miss alicia, i really do ): she's been the best maid ever. and i thk she'd be the best maid i'd ever ever haf.

alicia, don't go ):

if her husband ill-treats her i'm gona slap him up and down, left and right and pay for her airticket so she can live with me forever and ever and ever.

i miss alicia.

i miss my dear friend /:

2006-04-01T23:02:00.000+08:00

today was a good saturday. a well-spent one. (:

tuition to start off the day. surprisingly, my interest for chem is growing slowly. it's a beginning, alright (: show some encouragement! haha.

and then,

yuqin came over to do her ARES poster. and i wonder WHY i'm even helping her when i'm not in ares. lol! hello my dear, who did the last two posters? :D lol. i wonder! this is reverse psychology to make tht princess feel bad. but given how thick her skin is, i highly highly doubt it! haha.

thankfully for yuqin, i had someone to accompany me to do the meetup for my wedges (: the girl was 1/2 hr late. so yuqin and i started taking retarded pictures with my phone (as usual!) lol. and we started feeling really sleepy cos before tht we had alot alot of tangyuans.

back home, we each occupied one couch and watched tv. guess wht, we both fell asleep. lol. and whn i woke up, she woke up too.

see wht i mean? best friends do the same things all the time, unknowingly (:

oh, and vicki lai is such an idiot. she sent me this msg saying "call me now, very urgent!" thinking tht it was really emergency, i called her only to find out it's an april fools' joke. IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT! haha. but i still love you (:

okays, i think i rattled off alil too much today.

cheer up derrick (: chalets can always be organized again!

2006-03-31T21:32:00.000+08:00

sundial dreams says:
hahahaha ur finger so fat!!!
sundial dreams says:
haha v off
VIIVIIAN × the donut fits my finger like a ring. says:
my finger?
VIIVIIAN × the donut fits my finger like a ring. says:
wht talking you
VIIVIIAN × the donut fits my finger like a ring. says:
haha
sundial dreams says:
hahaha the donut hole is so big

the friends i have. oh my oh my.

haha, and did any of you know tht dogs suffer from motion-sickness too? /: yes! summer vomited a whole lot today after the 15min car ride. made my heart ache so bad ): at least she's one vaccination done. gladness :D

2006-03-30T20:04:00.000+08:00

results i got back are somewhat expected. but it's time to stop laughing everythg off, 'nd truly start studying hard.

i just re-did my gp essay, and i'm quite happy with it (: i know it sounds rather odd tht i actually enjoyed writing it. but i did, i really do like writing essays actually. haha, especially if the content has been somewht imprinted in my head.

looked for ms ngin today and she gave me inspiration to study hard for econs. cos seriously, if i continue to get such crappy grades, i'd prob drop it to concentrate on my other 3 subjs. maybe i'd soon get the hang on macro. maybe (: but i'd try to read sloman sometime soon.

i've got so much to complete, i realise! and i need to do carbonyl tutorial /: to actually thk i cld slack this week away. rahh. i've only slacked for 6 days! i was supp to be entirely relaxed for 10. okay, so it's 4 days short. but i doubt i really have much of a choice, haha!

ohyes, mel and i are going to salvation army tmr :DDD i'm elated!

2006-03-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

my previous tagboard died on me, many thanks to derrick for helping me with this new one. but i'm still pretty sad tht all my prev tags are gone for good /: neverrrrmind! haha. so the onus is on all my lovely friends to start tagging again :D

today i truly felt tht i'm a girl stuck in her own comfort zone for most parts of my life. seasports ppl went to minds to do cip today, actually it was only a briefing cos we're gona kayak with them. anyway! suef and i were kinda scared. it's not tht we despised intellectually disabled ppl or whtsoever, we were just unprepared for sudden movements cos they might just hug you or sth. thankfully none of them did, but the warning we got beforehand was enough to scare us quite a bit. still, i'm quite looking forward to working with them. it'd be a refreshing experience i guess (: and if i can foster a healthy friendship with them, tht'd be awesome (: all of us will have a new friend :D

oh, and i accidentally deleted one of my entries cos i was fiddling with my template, trying to solve some trivial problems here and thr. so i'm gona re-type (:

shoutouts to:

vicki - thanks for buying egg tarts back from macau :D although i've yet to get ANY! haha, but it's the thought tht counts (: and i'm sure you performed grrreat. you're our champion dear.

aiwern - all the best for your first-ever canoe competition on saturday (: if you say please a million times, i'd consider going down to support you :D haha, okay i'm kidding. just lemme know the time!

mel - many hugs for everything, from shopping to talking on the phone (: you're a fab sistaaa indeed. i love youuu.

derrick - for being thr no matter wht :D

OKAYS, maybe i shd go and sleep now /:

2006-03-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

talked to someone who used to mean more than just a little to me, and it dawned upon me the vast changes tht has taken its toll in a matter of a short one year.

once upon a time, i believed tht this friend of mine held a special place-- an irreplaceable one. right now, this place has been forsaken, neglected and forgotten.

harsh or mean this may seem, but i've come to terms with the futile hoping and waiting. it's definitely not enough to just yearn for the friendship to come crawling back into my life - it simply won't.

maybe you meant too much yesterday, which explains the nonchalance today. or maybe i just didn't try hard enough to shrug the nonchalance off and pretend tht everythg's still as it was a year ago.

what you said abt friends not being forever--perhaps you were referring to yourself. yes, it's your number tht i cannot remember anymore, your voice tht i've forgotten way before and your life tht i will step out of.

whatever it is, the friendship was a beautiful one, albeit a past tense here.

goodbye, my friend. you've done your part in my 2002 - 2005.

2006-03-27T18:11:00.000+08:00

long wkend which extended to today cos i didn't go to school again. technically, i did. but i wasn't feeling to well so i didn't evn step outta the car, and daddy fetched me home so i cld sleep. and boy! i slept till 2+, only to wake up with tht depressing sms frm aiwern telling me i flunked econs.

i think econs truly sucks. rah!

anyhows, wkend was qte fun. out w yuqin on sat and w mel on fri for facial. it was fun fun fun. uploaded these pics (: cos i can't be bothered to blog right now. i feel...full.

2006-03-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

i think it's human nature-

to put oneself first,
and forget about others around you.

this sucks.

2006-03-24T02:30:00.000+08:00

the 2nd half of today was well-spent (: hit town the very first time in eons, really. mel was great company, and i kinda hope she doesnt read this or else her head will bloat like a ballooooon! lol (:

anyhow, i took this pic whn we were desperately flagging down available cabs frm nowhr. it was...tragic. but we still look fine (: smiley, and radiating heat. but i doubt the pictures says tht much. lol.

does waxing the back of your heel really reduce abrasion? i think anymore scrapes and the back of my feet will rot. haha, i'm kidding.

talked to CHAR darling jus now after a million years. everythg was familiar & nice. and i still love her truckloads.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUVIEN BABY ! (: you're eighteen. and you're becoming a sexy, hot, capable lawyer (: i heaaarrrrttt you too <33

okay i'm tired. i need to get wedges.

2006-03-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

exams seem to be over! (: i've added new stuff to my collection.

an off-shoulder dress
my nepalese orchid birks (hope shipping's fast!)
vintage belt (getting it frm her tmr)
& moneyyy!

yup! i managed to sell my white skirt (: so tht explains the money part. haha. altho it pales in comparison with the money i spent on shopping. but STILL.

okays, i kinda think im dead for chem tmr. but i don't feel worried at all. lol, this is so bad.

i'm looking fwd to:
shopping w mel tmr
facial on fri
nuh volunteer stuff on sat
shopping w yuqin on sat
shopping w melia on sun

:DDDDD

2006-03-21T23:13:00.000+08:00

my heavy eyelids were threatening to close as soon as i got home today. but it was tht tv serial i didn't wanna miss. afterall, i've been following it rather religiously nd perhaps blindly. lol, and i'm still awake right now. really tired though.

is it impossible to find a really close friend, or special one who'd run out to buy icecream if you demanded or dropped by in the middle of the night when you're sad or send silly msgs just to make you smile?

tv serials are sometimes way too dramatic. but the plot has been formed based on human nature, hasn't it. the little yearning in every girl to have a fairytale come alive.

and maybe it's this yearning tht draws me to the tv every night. or maybe i'm just a major tv whore. i live to watch my telly. i reckon it's one of the best inventions ever (:

do you even know wht i adore the most? /:

2006-03-21T00:53:00.000+08:00

(prev entry deleted - again) /:

bio and econs ppr yesterday was crrrrazy. i'm still pretty disgusted by the mcqs as well as the essay questions! BUTTT, it's over :D i know i won't do well. at least i'm mentally prepared. lol.

i've been slping so late every night recently. talked to derrick yest and told him abt the questioned i popped. haha, he told me i'm being an idiot to think abt such redundant questions cos the answer is obvious. (:

at least someone gave the ideal answer. haha, such cheap thrill. not tht it actually means anythg, i just wanted to know. and whtever was the lack of reply for, i don't care anymore.

melia showed me this beautiful dancer's video yest. her pointe, arch, jetes, pirouettes and everythg was so precise, so so lovely. she's the kinda dancer tht can move audiences to tears, the kinda dancer who can express a million words with just a simple dance. she was truly truly, beautiful.

math ppr later. i'm still sleepy. i feel like going back to bed! yawwwn. it must be the late night talks! do you feel bad? lol (: i'm kidding!

2006-03-19T12:55:00.000+08:00

grrreat! my holidays have ended. and, i have no clue how i actually spent my time these 7 days. i basically recall watching tv, playing with my babies, sleeping and minimal studying. NEVERMIND! i'm still glad i've caught up on my sleep quite a fair bit (:

did i mention that i found summer's brother alr? it turned out tht amanda actually adopted runtboy, who's now renamed JD. and we're gonna take them out tgt soon! can't wait! but first and foremost, summer has to get her vaccination done before she can step outta the house. whoopee!

***

utterly clueless. will you give me a hint? i can't read minds.

2006-03-18T12:59:00.000+08:00

felt so outta sorts when i woke up this morning

1) am having a bad bad cold (used up 1 box of tissue alr) ughh. /:
2) getting my heat rash all over again (and the cream is making me feel sticky!)
3) my tummy still hurts (thankfully no more diarrhoea as of this morn)
4) my new maid (liyah) went back to filippines cos she was home-sick! (she shdn't even have come ovr in the first place since her kids are so young!)
5) alicia (my old maid) seems a tad sad with a friend gone
6) the fact tht alicia is going back real soon makes me all sad ):
7) my babies might hafta be sent to doggy care when we don't have a maid since it takes time for the agency to send a new maid to us, & alicia has to be home for her marriage
8) haven't studied much this entire week (unproductive & feeling real guilty abt it!)
9) my head hurts (even after taking panadol extra!) boo ):
10) i think i'm jus feeling so much unease cos of pre-exam stress!

oh dear oh dear. may the flu be gone, may the food poisoning disappear, may the focus enter my brain!

& may the Lord make the rest of today a better better day.

2006-03-17T23:38:00.000+08:00

i don't like people chiding me.

2006-03-17T15:49:00.000+08:00

talking to b2 is stress-relief (: banana fritters & chicken pie soon? :D

hearrrt you <3

2006-03-15T17:03:00.000+08:00

amelia, i deleted tht entry /: haha! decided not to keep it cos it doesn't really matter anymore (: deleted the number, deleted the messages. (and maybe you shd too!)

i haven't played with my two babies today! rahh. cos i decided to study upstairs and erm, i fell asleep on the couch whilst watching tv. i swear i just wanted to take a 1/2hr break. haha, okays! i shan't kid anyone no more.

anyways, i adore my messy messy room. it's so messy and cosy (: but i think i'd hafta get down to packing somehow. mummy can't stand the sight of it. lol. and i just sold a top for $21. i know it's not like alot of money. at least it can buy me a...clutch? no wait! it can contribute to vivian's education! (: yup! the money was transferred to mummy's account. i'm a good girl :D

i can't wait to go abroad nxt yr. actually, it's the end of the yr to be exact! yipee :D

2006-03-14T17:00:00.000+08:00

aren't they precious (:

anyways! i realised i can't study during holidays. and thr's a reason why the term "holiday" is coined up, eh? and whtever it is, relaxing and enjoying is the key. i don't get why we're offered this 1 wk of BREAK to study. study break. identify the irony within.

okays, but of cos, i'd much rather have a study break than no break. i enjoy slping in and watching as much teevee as i'd most certainly like.

summer vomited worms out today. the deworming tablet works! but it was pretty sick.

ohkays! off to tv-ing again (: goodbye.

***

you think i've changed? i think you have too.

2006-03-13T10:54:00.000+08:00

thr's often so much being said abt how one who's truly feeling happy, or how one who's truly feeling sad.
a happy face can be a facade,
and a sad face can merely be thr to seek tht tiny attention or assurance which are lacking in some ppl's lives.

can we thn, be truly truly happy?

***

haha, tht was so philosophical. but i was just thinking cos i felt perplexed after reading some of my friends' blogs.

tht how some ppl can be sucha happy person one second, and the next, they're overwhelmed with emotions.

CONFUSING!

i thk i'm generally a rather happy girl, no?
i smile all the time :D

2006-03-11T23:18:00.000+08:00

shocked.

just talked to alicia a while ago (and in case you who are reading don't know who alicia is, she's my maid) yup, so as i was saying, i kinda complained abt the new maid. cos she really doesn't understand english for nuts. and she seems quite blur. but mostly, cos i miss alicia alr. afterall, she's been here for 4 years. it's a long time.

and so, alicia told me tht liyah (my new maid) actually has quite a sad story. the only reason she came over to work is to ensure her 2 children's 3 meals. and when she left home, those 2 kids haven't eaten at all.

gosh, i swear i'm gona treat her nicely. and give her my toys so she can send back to her kids.

as for alicia, i wanna write letters to her and keep in touch with her. she's really a nice person.

okays, i havent done anythg exp staring at the black box for a couple of hrs today. i will start tmr. (:

2006-03-10T20:05:00.000+08:00

YAYYYY! i got my phone today (:

not a fantastic phone, but at least a colored one.

and i paid only $200 for it.

happy happy happy!

samsung's back in my life.

2006-03-09T19:49:00.000+08:00

finally, finally ... got down to signing up with collegeboard to apply for my SATS test. and being the paranoid me, i didn't dare to choose the may test. chose june instead. at least i have slightly more time studying. theoretically, tht is.

but honestly? i thk i'd just start my studying at a later date.
procrastinate procrastinate. tumdeedum.

today was so tiring. everyone was yawning and catching short naps in between lessons & lectures.

i reckon tht everyone's too steeped up in school work & sleeping has become less of a priority. but i don't sleep tht little, and i wonder why my eye bags are still evident. rahh!

i prefer our class being happy and cheerful. i guess it'd be back to the norm right after CTs. and i choose to blame it on bio cos they didn't exclude any j1 topics at all. bio teachers are treacherous! /:

integration was sapping energy outta my brain today. and ms lim has SUCH a sharp sense of hearing. she picks up on practically everything i say. even if it were just very trivial statements. [like, "i hate doing corrections!"] scary scary.
but i'm starting to like her more (: she's actually pretty cute! hurhur.

OKAYYYYS! attempt to study.

2006-03-08T18:48:00.000+08:00

one paper down (:

four more to go!

i still havent figured out what made me write about life-saving machines and how it links to biotechnology. now i hope the teacher doesn't penalize me too much on that. afterall, i DID write about cloning, GM food and drugs. so i hope the good points will stand out. OHWELL.

the compre paper was awful! comprehendable, yet difficult to approach. now talk about creative thinking - who the hell set such crrrazy questions!

but thank God gp's over. i'm glad, so glad.

and thank God for biotechnology <3

i need to watch tv now.

2006-03-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

it's no use trying to convince myself into actually enjoying my study time,
attempts have proven to be absolutely futile.

i end up falling asleep,
which i reckon is a pretty good use of my time.

sleep gives one energy tht is so desperately lacking in rjc students.

ohdear ohdear,
the sgst addiction is coming back /:
i just got myself an abercrombie & fitch military bag.
oh dear ohdear!

i really hope it's as beautiful as tht shown in the pictures!

and tht's SUCH a redundant thought at this point of time,
cos..
i've got gp exam tmr!

i command GM food to appear as one of the 12 questions,
please!

if not, technology will do fine;
if not, euthanasia;
cloning;
and science-related topics tht are not beyond me.

i read thru my GP bulletin,
and told myself...
i love gp.

(before i fell asleep with the essay incomplete)

2006-03-06T17:03:00.000+08:00

i reckon ms ang is fab,
my respect for her has risen sky high,
and it goes the same for chings as well (:

ms ang did this handwriting analysis for me today,
and just as i guessed,
i'm the typical little girl,
contented with things pretty easily.

it's a good thing (:

i really don't like,
1) the fast-paced life tht im leading now [why on earth was jeanne tan going so fast today!? gosh!]
2) having to study things tht i'd probably not make use of in the future [arhem, econs?]
3) being worried just because people around me are so intelligent and it's quite inevitable tht i wont be able to catch up
4) being uncontented
5) having pimple outbreak! ughh.

BUT, after this yr things are gona brighten up a fair bit, really! <3
furthermore, i've got things to be happy abt cos...

1) someone just upped the record of calling me 20x to wake me up! [hurhur! SORRY /: but you know you're the best, eh?]
2) i ate some watermelon
3) school has ended for the day (:

okays i shd stop listing, but the happy things outweigh the not-so-happy ones (:

did i mention mr ng is actually quite a good chemistry teacher?
yeah he is, hoorah!

it's love, isn't it?

2006-03-04T15:12:00.000+08:00

2006-03-03T21:31:00.000+08:00

i say,
rj never fails to amaze me with the outstanding performances by the elites whom she's inculcated,
albeit in a short time lapse of 2 years.

the number of 4As & 3As students are surely stunning,
and quite very remarkable.

mr hodge says the pressure is on us,
the batch of class 2006 - to do better than our seniors.

to break the record, again.

i don't really want to be the minority who're getting Bs and Cs,
i don't want to be one of those handful of students who'd walk outta the hall crying.

motivation motivation,
where art thou!

2006-03-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

things to smile abt today (:

<3 hottt date with vicki love

<3 finally getting to watch pink panther

<3 eating yummy chicken pie

<3 buying gorgeous candies

<3 drinking my 8 cups of water (i know it seems easy, but i'm not really a fluid person y'noe. haha)

<3 hearing from ryan :D

and i'd try to study now. so maybe later i can add my "achievements" to my list. lol (:

but im so sleeeeepy.

i need strength strength strength and long attention spans.

2006-03-01T13:09:00.000+08:00

sharon is right,

we'd survive all these,
eventually.

but it's gonna be after much sweat and tears.

i think ppl who enjoy studying are weird,
& ppl who enjoy taking exams are even weirder.

for those who comply to both conditions,
you're alien.

but maybe i shd aspire to be like you,
in a million years maybe.

thank God i still have normal friends,
who understand the difficulties to excel in this competitive environment.

it's a pain talking to someone who has drifted so far apart,
and i'd just take a step back,
tuck my feet in,
and nod as you speak.

derrick heng, where's my supper frm last night?
WHERE? (:

2006-02-28T20:17:00.000+08:00

i label today chemistry day,
because i had many chemistry lessons.

& i'm still pondering hard,
abt why chemistry is being so horrid - for not befriending me.
i promise i'd be a good pal,
really.
really.

these couple of days have been a total flop,
nothing productive done.

i wish i had captured tht beautiful shot of serenity & comfort,
but it's all too late now.

i don't understand why some ppl can be so smart,
and i only yearn for a fraction of their intelligence.
just a fraction will do.

i'm sick of being stupid.

2006-02-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

mondays are way too long,

i spent half my time in class,
& the other half sound aslp in bed.

unfocused, unmotivated - but i'd get some work done, later.

thr's so much to do, so little time, it's a crazy rush.

i wonder how're things like at your side,
half way across the world.

one and two,

2006-02-25T09:31:00.000+08:00

ever since summer stepped into my life, i think everythg's gotten better (:

i've been less lazy, less grumpy, less whiny,
& happier, more cheerful, more optimistic.

God's gift yet again <3

last night i had a dream, i dreamt tht you told a certain someone you missed me.
it was a confusing dream;
i remember not knowing how to react.

but it was only a dream-
& dreams don't come true,
they seldom or never do.

i've not spoken to you properly for too long.

2006-02-24T01:40:00.000+08:00

vicki says summer's gonna grow up being ugly. and i refuse to take tht.

summer's gonna grow up to be a beauty, just as she is, right now (:

and i want pebbles and summer to get married.

alright, mel?

<3

2006-02-21T22:51:00.000+08:00

maxine was being sucha naughty girl today! summer gave her a kiss and she just barked at the poor lil fella. haha, it was so bad of her. but i couldnt help but laugh at how jealousy can affect a dog! it's intriguing (:

it suddenly dawned upon me tht common tests are just around the corner.

rahhh.

tralala, it's funny how i can't click with some people anymore. different frequencies and well-planned conversations just isn't my cuppa tea (:

2006-02-20T20:05:00.000+08:00

summer's such a sweetheart. she's so shy (: but she seems a tad unhappy. i hope tht sweetheart cheers up soon.

maxine doesnt really play with her, so it's quite bad. daddy says maxine's scared of summer. lol, wht a timid lil princess.

AND SUMMER'S SHEDDING HER FUR ): i'm so upset. i don want her to become black and awful looking. rahhh.

mel's coming over in a bit! YAAAYYY.

summer bambam lee xia tian has a playmate soon (: i'm elated.

I LOVE MEL.

2006-02-18T16:44:00.000+08:00

i'm so glad i have fab teachers (: like ms edlyn ang and my chem tutor. they're fab.

ms ang's nice to even entertain my queries on study abroad. and now ive kinda set my eyes on berkeley. just tht...i don't know what i shoudl study?

daddy says if i wanna enter med school, thn australia will be it. BUT, tht means it'd hafta depend a whole lot on my As. and to be honest, i have zero confidence.

so i was thinking whether i shd do law. BUT, ruishan told me studying law in the states will mean i cant practice locally.

GAWD. am i gonna end up studying...business ):

not my interest, not at all in fact. don't wanna waste my life away doing sth i really don't enjoy doing.

wht shd i study wht shd i study.

shd i just complete my As properly and not think of a slipshod way out.

this isn't fun.

2006-02-18T15:05:00.000+08:00

pictures today! just
to keep things sweet and short <3

2006-02-17T22:51:00.000+08:00

first week of the year which i've attended 5 school days straight. it's a good start.

suef and mel came over today! lotsa laughter. i heart my sistas (:

i detest migraines.

and i wonder how you spent valentines day.

2006-02-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

(entry edited)

happy valentines' day (:

i heart my friends who're always here <3 spread the love!

thankyouyouyouyouyou.

//

i realized tht things will never be the same cos changes are taking place. and the very pampered me longs to be top priority, but tht's just against reality.

ohwell, superficial friendship is still friendship at the very least, eh?

and at least i won't keep searching for tht reassurance anymore. cos the expectations have died down.

i hope you're happy anyway.

//

on a brighter note, i've finished writing all my vdae cards (:

biggest love to YUQIN! (x and other loves to mel, suef, sikhs, vicki, aiwern, derrick, b2, melia and a whole lot of ppl who mean the world to me!

i know you know tht i love you. but please bear with me and let me reemphasize tht, just for this once (:

thank YOUs.

2006-02-11T16:42:00.000+08:00

thank you suef, for calling to check on me (:

i love you, sista.

valentine's day on tuesday. one year ago i was all excited. now it just seems like any other day.

vicki might be coming over on mon for some baking.

want some cookies?

be nice and ask me sweetly. i might just bake a heart-shaped little cutie for you (:

one-liners are my way of telling a story due to the lack of courage. and i just wish the friendship never did fade a single bit.

2006-02-10T15:53:00.000+08:00

i don't like the way i am now,

and maybe i never will.

2006-02-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

one year ago, before the collecting of o-level results i was as nervous as you were. jittery at how my grades wld turn out in the end. at how well or how badly i'd haf done. tiny regrets running thru my mind when i recalled how unfocused i was during my study break and during the paper itself. afraid tht lousy grades wld stare back at me blankly. terrified tht reality would be harsh, tht i'd be summoned to a different world. just because of several moments of folly.

but, by God's grace, i did fine. not exceptionally well - just enough to stay put in rj1so3t. i was pleased anyway (:

and tmr, you'd be collecting your results. i know the feeling of butterflies in your tummy or the churning of stomach juices. no, it's not a nice feeling. easier said than done, it still helps to know tht He's always looking over you (: no matter what the result slip says, you know you've done your best and the rest is up to the Lord.

whatever it is, i'd be proud of you cos you're still a light shining ever so brightly and nothing will dim you down!

keep tht smile going. face tmr with confidence. i'm waiting for tht phonecall of good news. no matter wht, we'd still have supper or something aiight (:

all the best, derrick.

p.s. i've uploaded chingay pics (: some good stuff, eh?

2006-02-08T22:38:00.000+08:00

ELATED.

<3 it's been a long time since i last talked to b2 (: you've been missed much! and im glad we're finding time to talk again, despite both of us being kinda busy. just wanna letcha know tht you're loved, and always have been (:

<3 mister heng talked to me on the phone while i made my way home from suntec. i took SO long to get home cos the train was too packed and the bus was crawling. real sweet of you (: smilesmilesmile.

<3 windsurfing with suef dearest. oohlala.

<3 subway cookie!

and the obvious can be left unstated*

2006-02-07T17:45:00.000+08:00

perplexed at how some ppl never fail to type absurdly long blog entries every single day. i reckon they're either too free, or tht they really love this particular avenue to rant in. especially since nobody can ask you to shut the crap up even if you're being disgustingly annoying or long-winded. (:

tht aside, school's been alright. it doesnt seem real tht exams are just next month. but i'd try to digest tht soon. (i hope!) and maybe really get down to burrowing my head beneath all the books and notes. i shall aim to be a nerd (: it's so difficult to attain.

i realized today tht ppl are envious at how i can be happy 24/7. but im really not tht happy all the time. nevertheless, im still glad tht i actually appear to be a happy girl. and i am actually quite pleased most of the time (: say bye to the stress, and there, i'm still tht little girl. really, this has never changed. not for the past 10 years or so. (:

arent you proud of me? (:

now i just want to hear from you. please?

2006-02-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

its been quite sometime since i last performed, albeit not on a proper stage. still, it was a performance. some booboos here and thr. but i guess the entire experience was awesome. real smashing i'd say. the friends i made, the joy we shared, the laughter tht was spread. it was some good time. chingay's amazing! <3

do i always do silly stuff tht crack ppl up. for example, mistaking the silly ribbon of a bookmark for a dragonfly? ohdear! at least i know who'd answer my desperate call for comfort at unearthly hours (: thankYOU.

the weekend's been great, besides one little disappointment which suef instructs to ignore.
but it's bugging me.
and it shouldnt because it shouldnt mean tht much anymore.

2006-02-05T13:30:00.000+08:00

a couple of the MANY pictures we took (: chingay was a whole lot of fun and many bunches of love! <3

thanks to the lovely ones who made everythg so so enjoyable (: greenies like suef sista, annabelle, chings, huiyi, val & huiqing (: lurrrve them.

oh! and the j1s like yijing and guiyi are such sweeties.

how can i forget xinqin! (: she's the loveliest ever.

haha, let's participate in chingay again next yr! (: LOVELOVE.

2006-02-01T02:40:00.000+08:00

if thr's such a thing as school-o-phobia, im guilty of it. call me weak, but i'm really terrified of school. frivolous it might sound. well, i still choose to switch the television on and let trashy shows run, one after another. my eyes transfixed on the homework piled up in front of me, not on the tele. yet, im somewhat comforted to hear some noise, some sound. to have a feel tht at least im not alone, at this unearthly time.

defeated, slightly. time doesnt halt, for me to find the strength.

and perhaps, i dont need time to halt. but for it to fly.

arg nit. im allowed to take tht now. just alil at a time. to broaden my vision. to let me see things in a different light.

i will stay awake for as long as i can. because i dont like the idea of opening my eyes, and realizing tht i'd hafta go to school, again.

thank God for mel. she'd be doing QT with me tmr morn. and things will seem fine again.

2006-01-31T12:04:00.000+08:00

t'was a long time before i hung out late. partly due to the laziness creeping within me and knocking me dead before i can even change outta my tee and shorts. and partly due to the strict regulations tht has been enforced. blame it on my studies? nah, on myself mostly.

tht aside, eski bar was not too bad. freezer room was brr. cold. and my farewell drink was pretty good. chick drink, with a very mild percentage of alcohol. but polar bear was sick. i reckoned it reminded me of water theme parks. but someone decides to label it the substitute of antibiotics. ohwell.

so much for wanting to diet. supper was too good. apple crumble with a scoopful of tiramisu icecream, and some bruscetta. goodgood. it washed all the guilt away.

it'd probably be a long time before we can chill out late into the night. but you've been a good friend, indeed. and we'd probably be friends till everything blurs away.

2006-01-30T17:49:00.000+08:00

first and foremost, THANK YOU my fellow MISS TOFU for tht entry on your blog (: I LURRRVE YOU SMELLY MELLY! <3

okays, so cny celebrations are just as i expected, boring to the core. not many red packets to collect, and not many places to go to. but a million hands to shake, a million faces to greet, and a million "happy new yr"s to say. thank God, daddy and i slipped away right after lunch. we went home to watch tv and sleep. bliss, really.

and today, i slept my entire day away. woke up at 4pm (: and before you think wht a pig i am. i actually woke up at 10! just that erm, i went back to sleep after breakfast cum lunch. haha, food makes me sleepy. it's the way life is.

later im going to the icy bar (: yayyy. and derrick's very nice. he says he's going to come over to accompany me there cos i feel fat and i need to walk. so now im worrying abt what footwear im going to wear laters. but i still haf a couple of hours to decide (:

i wish everyday was sleep, wakeup, eat, watch tv day. my life wld be so fulfilling. lol. and in 2 yrs i'd die of obesity cos i like to eat and sleep. time to shed the kilos, after new yr!

i cant wait for dec to come. i wanna go over to the states again. and i hope mel can come with me (: but tentatively, we've planned on going to hk since i pretty much know my way around. yayyy. i love my fellow tofu (:

oh, THANKS SIKHS! for calling me back last night. she thot something stranged engulfed me, so she called despite being really tired. i love youyouyou (:

okays i need to shower. goodbye.

2006-01-29T01:14:00.000+08:00

i actually typed a whole long entry, but deleted it cos i remember saying how i cannot mention sad stuff on this blog.

and thank you sikhs, so much. i nearly cried when i saw tht short note on your blog. at least i know someone cares (: thanks, love.

oh, in case ppl are wondering how my visit to dr. lopez went. it was okay. and as i expected, more medication, head massages and stuff.

and i gotta thank derrick heng for talking to me almost every night, to give me the moral support cos i realized just how fragile i am. and to pray with me, leading me back gently to the Lord. thanks (:

before i forget, happy cny everyone! enjoy yourselves loads.

and most importantly,
happy birthday melia! (: hope today was amazing for you! hugs.

2006-01-27T14:21:00.000+08:00

surprise surprise! i went to school today (: and i have decided tht im going to start blogging happier entries from now onwards cos ppl think tht im weird when i say im unhappy abt sth. afterall, vivian's supposed to always be tht lively, enthusiastic and slightly defiant girl. the girl ppl knew a year ago. and so it'd be.

im so glad i got to talk to sikhs today. we had a good long talk abt everything, and thru her i realized how the Lord has blessed me silently despite me drifting away frm Him bit by bit. she's like the light God's given me to guide me back to Him. my pillar of support when everything seems to be collapsing. and someone who'd give me the most heartwarming motivation. thanks love, really. these 6 years of friendship have been a blast! and i reckon we're FBIs too (:

last night i caught 'i not stupid too' with mel. it's really not tht bad a show, considering it to be a local production. pretty cliched at most parts, esp. the one whr the kid says he wants to buy an hr of his dad's time. but i er, still cried at tht part. haha, im sucha softie. it's not good. thank God mel is a tofu too (: so i had a crying partner. yay. and in case you're wondering, we didnt cry cry, we just teared. it just shows tht we're normal and emotional teenage girls. rah.

i jus read someone's blog and the stuff written really cracks me up. omg. the humour infused is beyond lame.

i think i shld spend less time on the fone and more time on my chemistry right now. because the unis have replied and told me tht they're way too busy to entertain my requests. disappointing! im so so so jealous of bryan tay (altho i dono him personally) cos he made it to princeton! ): and his sister too, i think.

okays, maybe i should send more emails. and mel, if you're reading this, your everdearest georgia tech is being snobbish and arrogant cos they ignored my email. haha, and the rest have kinda replied alr! somehow, i haf a feeling we'd both end up thr. ahwell. mel, viv's chef. viv, mel's laundrette. i think we'd end up having food poisoning every single day and having to re-wear our clothes. lol.

I LOVE YOU, SIKHS & MEL <3

[edit/] georgia tech JUST emailed me x: so shld i take my SATS asap?

2006-01-26T14:29:00.000+08:00

i hate puffy and swollen eyes, nd i hate looking absolutely crappy and messed up. i'd learn how to not cry if thr's such a lesson taught, really.

and i'd learn to express myself in words such tht people arnd me wld understand and stop misunderstanding me cos it gets tiring if i had to keep explaining, time and again.

and do you not think tht i, too wish tht i had the brains, the looks, the attitude, the character tht you wish me to have.
but the fact is i don't. im not tht perfect lil girl you want me to be. im neither smart nor talented. neither pretty nor charismatic. neither charming nor eloquent.
so?
im still your daughter, no?

expectations that you bind me with. expectations i try so hard to attain. expectations that are really beyond me.

i know i dont even have a fraction of the talents which my schoolmates have. and i really have to work doubly hard to catch up and be in the midstream. thts why ive repeatedly told you how i regret choosing rj. regret putting myself thru all these shits.

screw this.

i swear good grades will only draw us apart further.

2006-01-25T16:00:00.000+08:00

today started off sweet with vicki's short but diabetic postcard (: and it's only after reading tht i realized just how much friends mean to me.

2006 has definitely been a rough start. lots of falling ill, visiting doctors, taking loads of painkillers, having dizzy spells, feeling nauseated, losing concentration and the list pretty much goes on.

and although my friends don't tell me straight in the face, i thk they're still worried. a tiny lil bit at least. and i feel pretty bad for making them worry. i promise i didnt try to fall ill intentionally! and just as vicki said, i really ought to pull myself together and not collapse at the crucial lapse. afterall, i'd have so much me-time when im done with As.

this aside, im thankful for friends i've been close to in the past year or so. and new friends who've stepped into my life to paint it colorful. friends such as suef, mel and sikhs (: it must be God at work.

whatever it is, i think i'm going to get back on track right after cny. gonna take this short break to get well. fight all the germs, viruses and bacteria. it's time to get my health back (: im gonna have to start taking my medicines regularly. and be less dependent on painkillers.

so next week, im going to be healthy and in shape for more exercise and school work again!

(:

2006-01-24T20:24:00.000+08:00

10 random things about me:
1. i'm backsliding so quickly tht it's really more than just scary
2. i really hate studying!
3. i'm a sucker for cliched sweet nothings
4. i love my family truckloads! <3
5. i'd love to spend my life sleeping, eating & watching tv :D
6. i miss ryan ):
7. I LOVE YUQIN!
8. i have perpetual headaches
9. i have an ulcer tht hurts so bad
10. i wanna go to the states right away!

9 countries i have visited:
1. America
2. HongKong
3. China
4. Malaysia
5. Australia
6. Thailand
7. Indonesia
8. Mexico
9. Japan

8 things i want to do before i die:
1. meet my mister perfect (:
2. get a neat job!
3. have my own family
4. be a volunteer with the UN
5. open a cafe/childcare when i'm tired of having a real demanding job
6. take daddy and mummy on a trip around the world (:
7. learn how to play the piano again
8. get a whole lot closer to God

7 ways to win my heart:
1. be charming
2. speak intellectually with loads of humour injected
3. do something sweet, like write a poem (:
4. sincerity, nothing beats this
5. be able to carry out a natural and easy conversation with me
6. play something on the piano/guitar/any cool musical instrument (:
7. kindhearted <3

6 things that annoy me:
1. when people are insincere
2. self-centered people
3. the disregard for human/animal rights (i.e. abuse)
4. people who have utterly no respect for others just because they have such grrrreat academic achievements
5. when teachers speak to us like we're 3-yr-olds
6. arrogant shopkeepers

5 things i am afraid of:
1. loneliness
2. being disregarded
3. people around me falling ill
4. being a failure
5. not being to live up to the expectations of those around me

4 favorite things in my bedroom:
1. my hi-fi
2. my mirror
3. my bed
4. chowder

3 things i do everyday:
1. eat
2. sleep
3. watch tv

2 things i want to do right now:
1. find tht passion for studying (!!)
2. talk to youYOUyou

1 person i want to see right now:
you

2006-01-24T18:46:00.000+08:00

absent minded, not;
forgetful, not;
muddleheaded, not.

acknowledgement can also be in silence.

because words sometimes fail to translate the simplest thoughts adequately,
and a mere 'iloveyou' will just fade to nothing.

2006-01-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

i guess it's true tht every christian will come to a point in their lives whr they'd question their faiths and wonder why on earth has it become so fragile.

okays, maybe not everyone. it could just be me.

whatever it is, today's sermon definitely hit me hard. people who're close to me wld know how im like during my usual sunday services. which is, hoping hard tht it'd end real quick so i can rush outta church for lunch, shopping and wht not. but today's message was inspiring. it was by dr. choo who shared his experiences abt being brought up in a christian family but was never strong in his faith and all. i related to that quite a bit.

is it God trying to pull me back, closer to His side. miracle number one.

and awhile ago, mel just messaged me abt having cell before assembly. and even if this morning's sermon wasnt one of God's gentle tugs. this must be it (:

yes, God is good <3

aiight, side-tracking abit here. chingay was quite fun actually. the make-up artiste, i.e. wanjun was such a hottie! everyone was calling out for her.

every 5 secs, it was like...
"wanjun! can you help me with my eyeliner pleaseee!"
"wanjun! cld you help me with my eyeshadow!"

and yadayada. plus thr were SO many of us. imagine how busy she was on the bus. and i realized i can NEVER put on my mascara while the bus is moving. or curl my lashes. it went SO bad. haha, suef was saying how some of my lashes were curled and the rest werent. lols.

oh, did i mention the romantic night suef and i shared running across all the bright floats in the rain. and standing by the shelter talking, while the bgrnd fades away. and engrossed in girl-talk on the bus ride back? okays, i kinda added more details to make it seem more dramatic. lols.

BUT I LOVE SUEF ANYWAYS (:

oh, and i had to add this! cos school without vicki is just like summer without the sun. im starting to sound like a scriptwriter with all my metaphors and wht not. oops (: it's the weekend syndrome.

anyhows, this is the reason I HEART VICKI LAI <33

[ennui] hadendum et tenedum says:
FINE
[ennui] hadendum et tenedum says:
$500 dollars
[ennui] hadendum et tenedum says:
ok.. thats lame
[ennui] hadendum et tenedum says:
haha
VIIVIIAN × motion-bound. says:
OMG
VIIVIIAN × motion-bound. says:
VICKI
[ennui] hadendum et tenedum says:
?
[ennui] hadendum et tenedum says:
vicki is a synonym for vivian's truest friend no. 2

yup, my true friend indeed (:

2006-01-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

the fatigue that takes over due to compounded laziness; forty minutes which went on forever. but the sense of satisfaction was familiar, it was good.

perhaps its a spurt of randomness, a memory of sweet nothingness. i feel like watching the sunrise once again, to see the salmon pink sky turn faintly blue. to be part of the world, just for a moment or two. and perhaps i'd recognize the beauty of everythg around me once again, and realize the tangibility of it all.

blemishes and imperfections are such understatements.

<33 much love to my sweet friend who delivered the lightbox all the way to my place a while ago. a good way to burn off the calories indeed. (:
mister derrick heng, you're the best!
studying cum supper cum jogging soon - it's sucha long overdue date!